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Dec. 20th, 2003

Goodness....I am sicker than I thought. I am not sure why I am having a party exactly, but I feel like no matter what the outcome, it is too late to cancel it now. I am not sure if it's the flu, but it feels stronger than a cold.

I was hoping to surprise my family in Boston with a "fly by" visit home (24 December - 26 December), but I hurt too much to make the journey.

Last night, I was so full of dayquil, nyquil, and sudafed that I began to hallucinate while I was trying to sleep. I was kinda caught in a waking nightmare for 2 hours, with images too horrible to describe. I was so awake I could hear everything around me, but I wasn't able to react. And last night was my second 100-degree (farenheight) fever in 4 days.

My body really hurts. No, it's not that simple. My bones ache. I've been struggling not to pass out a couple of times this week (Red Bull has kept the heart racing, even if the body has other plans).

But I must have this party tonight...it's too late to cancel. I'll think of some stronger drug combinations from my medicine cabinet to get me through tonight. I need to lie down so that I have strength to clean and shop and get ready for tonight.

Talk to all later...hope you are feeling better than me...

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