Rodney (rcornelius) wrote,

  • Music:

"Over 200 Pounds of Rotting Flesh" or "Looky-here, it's the Peruvian Cast of Cats"

3 November 2002, entry 1

Well, in a previous posting, I had promised that I was going to provide you more details about the new fragrance that I am wearing, CK Crave. It is a very nice fragrance indeed, however, once I began wearing it in earnest, I noticed that the skin was literally rotting off my hands. I was so scared that I went to the emergency room. They laughed at me and asked if I had traveled. The nurse blamed it on the UK, with the crazy explanation that it was probably because of the difference in the hardness of the water, and that I was also probably mixing some chemicals amongst the different beauty aids -- er, beauty enhancement products -- that I use. So after I was convinced I didn't have mad cow disease, I left the hospital. Those Swedish nurses -- they look nothing like they do on porn videos (did I say that?).

For those who have ever seen my bathroom, you instantly know that I like to smell good and use various fragrances. It kicked off one of my most expensive habits -- the buying of various colognes, hair and body shampoos, and moisturizers. And I have to blame my sister Roxanne for this. It all started on December 25, 1999. Either I smelled really bad, or she just thought it was time I wear something other than that bottle of polo sport I stole from my older brother. She gave a gift set of CK Obsession. It smelled so good that I still use it (I'm obsessed with it I suppose). From there, I added Tommy cologne and body products (I still use those too). Then because of Steve, I learned of a wonderful store called Sephora, and then added various daily maintenance products. Of course, because of Maha, I learned that one had to "re-scent" at some point during the day after the fragrance had worn off from the morning, so that introduced the Vercase Blue Jeans, as well as the Dolci & Gabana Homme fragrance into the collection. Finally, I added CK Crave in the beginning of October, on the advice of the Fragrance Consultant when I was at Sephora Headquarters in Paris. Actually, the consultant was quite nice. I wanted to buy CK Crave and another fragrance and the told me not to buy the second fragrance because it probably would smell too strong for the winter. And I felt I could trust her when she didn't recommend a replacement, but encouraged me to try Crave and that if I didn't like it, come back and she'd recommend something else. Anyway, the moral of the story is that I often smell very pretty. So you (yes YOU reading this) simply must compliment me on how good I smell, like mommy does, or else I'll never talk to you again.

Belive it or not, all of this talk of fragrance is connected to the feature thought of the day, which is I believe that the peruvian pipe players are stalking me. You know who they are. You see them wearing their ponchos, trying to shake you down for your loose change. After seeing them all of the world (strangely enough, they are not in China), I have determined two things:

* The Peruvian pipe players are sponsored by the government of peru in some way. I just can't prove it right now.

* The Peruvian pipe players are perennial favourites all around the world, rivaled only by the long-running production of Cats worldwide.

While they are a site to behold, it is funnier to watch the Swedish watch them. Some actually get up the nerve to gently sway back and forth. But most just stare -- intensely. It's as if they are waiting for them to explode like a pinata (of course, no hitting or violence would be required, as the combustion would be spontaneous). Or maybe the Swedish think about their lives against the backdrop of peruvian music, reminding them of sunny summer lazy days. My money is on the spontaneous combusting pinata thing. Because wouldn't it be neat if all peruvian's were filled with candy?

Ciao, Rodney
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