Rodney (rcornelius) wrote,
Rodney
rcornelius

  • Location:
  • Mood:
  • Music:

"You Are Wrong Because"

In the course of many exchanges of ideas with others, when I think that I am right, it obviously means that I think the other person is wrong. And when I think they are wrong, I often internally try and relate it back to the section called "You Are Wrong Because" in Scott Adam's "The Joy of Work: Dilbert's Guide to Finding Happiness at the Expense of Your Coworkers".

So I re-post that section here for your amusement and encourage you to think about these things after the next exchange of idea you have with someone else besides me! \o/

1. AMAZINGLY BAD ANALOGY

Example: You can train a dog to fetch a stick. Therefore, you can train a potato to dance.
 

2. FAULTY CAUSE AND EFFECT

Example: On the basis of my observations, wearing huge pants makes you fat.


3. I AM THE WORLD

Example: I don't listen to country music. Therefore, country music is not popular.


4. IGNORING EVERYTHING SCIENCE KNOWS ABOUT THE BRAIN

Example: People choose to be obese/gay/alcoholic because they prefer the lifestyle.


5. THE FEW ARE THE SAME AS THE WHOLE

Example: Some Elbonians are animal rights activists. Some Elbonians wear fur coats. Therefore, Elbonians are hypocrites.


6. GENERALIZING FROM SELF

Example: I'm a liar. Therefore, I don't believe what you're saying.


7. ARGUMENT BY BIZARRE DEFINITION

Example: He's not a criminal. He just does things that are against the law.


8. TOTAL LOGICAL DISCONNECT

Example: I enjoy pasta because my house is made of bricks.


9. JUDGING THINGS WITHOUT COMPARISON TO ALTERNATIVES

Example: I don't invest in U.S. Treasury Bills. There's too much risk.


10. ANYTHING YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND IS EASY TO DO

Example: If you have the right tools, how hard could it be to generate nuclear fission at home?


11. IGNORANCE OF STATISTICS

Example: I'm putting ALL of my money on the lottery this week because the jackpot is so big.


12. IGNORING THE DOWNSIDE RISK

Example: I know that bugee jumping could kill me, but it's three seconds of great fun!


13. SUBSTITUTING FAMOUS QUOTES FOR COMMON SENSE

Example: Remember, "All things come to those who wait." So don't bother looking for a job.


14. IRRELEVANT COMPARISONS

Example: A hundred dollars is a good price for a toaster, compared to buying a Ferari.


15. CIRCULAR REASONING

Example: I'm correct because I'm smarter than you. And I must be smarter than you because I'm correct.


16. INCOMPLETENESS AS PROOF OF DEFECT

Example: Your theory of gravity doesn't address the question of why there are no unicorns, so it must be wrong.


17. IGNORING THE ADVICE OF EXPERTS WITHOUT A GOOD REASON

Example: Sure, the experts think you shouldn't ride a bicycle into the eye of a hurricane, but I have my own theory.


18. FOLLOWING THE ADVICE OF KNOWN IDIOTS

Example: Uncle Billy says pork makes you smarter. That's good enough for me!


19. REACHING BIZARRE CONCLUSIONS WITHOUT ANY INFORMATION

Example: The car won't start. I'm certain the spark plugs have been stolen by rogue clowns.


20. FAULTY PATTERN RECOGNITION

Example: His six last wives were murdered mysteriously. I hope to be wife number seven.


21. FAILURE TO RECOGNIZE WHAT'S IMPORTANT

Example: My house is on fire! Quick, call the post office and tell them to hold my mail!


22. UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT OF SUNK COSTS

Example: We've spent millions developing a water-powered pogo stick. We can't stop investing now or it will all be wasted.


23. OVERAPPLICATION OF OCCAM'S RAZOR (WHICH SAYS THE SIMPLEST EXPLANATION IS USUALLY RIGHT)

Example: The simplest explanation for the moon landings is that they were hoaxes.


24. IGNORING ALL ANECDOTAL EVIDENCE

Example: I always get hives immediately after eating strawberries. But without a scientifically controlled experiment, it's not reliable data. So I continue to eat strawberries every day, since I can't tell if they cause hives.


25. INABILITY TO UNDERSTAND THAT SOME THINGS HAVE MULTIPLE CAUSES

Example: The Beatles were popular for one reason only: They were good singers.


26. JUDGING THE WHOLE BY ONE OF ITS CHARACTERISTICS

Example: The sun causes sunburns. Therefore, the planet would be better off without the sun.


27. BLINDING FLASHES OF THE OBVIOUS

Example: If everyone had more money, we could eliminate poverty.


28. BLAMING THE TOOL

Example: I bought an encyclopedia but I'm still stupid. This encyclopedia must be defective.


29. HALLUCINATIONS OF REALITY

Example: I got my facts from a talking tree.


30. TAKING THINGS TO THEIR ILLOGICAL CONCLUSION

Example: If you let your barber cut your hair, the next thing you know he'll be lopping off your limbs!

 

31. FAILURE TO UNDERSTAND WHY RULES DON'T HAVE EXCEPTIONS

Example: It should be legal to shoplift, as long as you don't take enough to hurt the company's earnings.


32. PROOF BY LACK OF EVIDENCE

Example: I've never seen you drunk, so you must be one of those Amish people.
 

(Posted without permission, but i'll argue fair use until my last dying breath)
Tags: general update
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 0 comments