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Today was just such a bad day at work, that it sapped my energy to be at the beach. I gave my bottles of wine away and just ran home at top speed. I just came back to the apartment (I don't even have the mental state to clean it, and it's kinda messy). And I just set the CD player to random and then it went to the Sarah McLachlan "Surfacing" CD. And that just kinda pushed me right over the edge. So if you wanna know how I feel, here are the lyrics:

Full of Grace

The winter here's cold, and bitter
it's chilled us to the bone
we haven't seen the sun for weeks
to long too far from home
I feel just like I'm sinking
and I claw for solid ground
I'm pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
oh darkness I feel like letting go


If all of the strength and all of the courage
come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this
full of grace
full of grace
my love


So it's better this way, I said
having seen this place before
where everything we said and did
hurts us all the more
its just that we stayed, too long
in the same old sickly skin
I'm pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
oh darkness I feel like letting go


If all of the strength
and all of the courage
come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this
full of grace
full of grace
my love.


It's been an afternoon where I could do nothing right, despite my best efforts. It's emotional exhaustion. Hopefully it passes soon.

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
thallow
Jul. 16th, 2003 10:18 am (UTC)
Heya, stumbled across your journal through my friendsfriends page. Yay for paid accounts.

I know how Sarah can you push you over the edge. She does that to me as well when I'm feeling down :/ It's good though to let yourself go once in a while.
rcornelius
Jul. 17th, 2003 12:29 am (UTC)
Very very true. And after listening to two of her CDs, I kinda just went to bed and woke up feeling much better the next day, after a private LJ entry or two so that I could get my feelings out.

Thanks for the msg...I added you as a friend :-)
thallow
Jul. 17th, 2003 07:46 am (UTC)
Added you as well. I'll have to catch up on your Diaryland journal to find out how you ended up in Sweden :)
rcornelius
Jul. 18th, 2003 04:49 am (UTC)
rcornelius.diaryland.com

Hee hee...hope the LJ people don't come and take me away :)
thallow
Jul. 18th, 2003 05:24 am (UTC)
I got to the part where I found out you're working for IBM. Why Sweden though? I'll have to dig deeper...

b0rk
swedishchef79
Jul. 17th, 2003 09:38 am (UTC)
If you need to chat, you know my # -- feel free to use it!
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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